Sunday, July 21, 2013

My Curly Hair AKA My New Found Love

My earliest memories of the initial time I started taking an interest in my appearance, was around 8-9 or so. I think everyone from an early age finds a physical feature about themselves that they spend a long time struggling with, until some epiphany, surgery, whatever happens and you finally learn to accept and love it. 
For me? It was an epiphany, a light bulb moment.
And that physical thing? My hair. My curly, unruly, big, thick hair. 

|this is my hair. no products, no nothing. 100% au natural here|



I remember watching the show Friends, and was enamoured by 'Rachel's' beautifully pin straight hair. I use to think, "why doesn't mine look like that?"
So, on a typical trip to the salon, there to get a simple trim I asked the stylist to make my hair like Rachel's'.
She laughed. -_- boo!

When I looked in magazines I couldn't help but feel different, maybe a tad bit jealous.
I remember thinking

straight = beautiful
my hair = ???....

I had a hate/hate relationship with it, and remember throughout my junior years wearing it in nothing but a bun or side braids. 
I hated the fact it was frizzy, easily tangled, unmanageable, and god awful during beach trips and days with high humidity. I use to look in the mirror and constantly beat myself up over 'this hair' of mine; it was something about myself that I absolutely despised.
 I can't remember having anyone to look up to in the celebrity world with hair like mine, again, not that I can remember.


Then came high school, and my discovery of a flat iron! :D
What an amazing contraption- a thing that flattens my hair and makes it straight?
Amazing, and boy oh boy did I get good use out of it.
I used it for years, completely avoiding the curls I'd have while my hair dried ,till they quickly disappeared.  

Fast forward 9 years... yeah 9 years of heat damage later, we are here.
From 16 to 25, every time I showered, I would straighten my hair.

It wasn't till New Years Eve of 2013 that I decided to make some big changes in my life
At the time I was in a very unhealthy place, mentally, physically... I was just going through a lot. Up until then I remember being so hard on myself. Judging every little thing about myself; I was my own worst critic.
Which I think can happen naturally for people, but I decided enough was enough.

If I beat myself up for being at my unhealthiest weight, will I lose weight? NO
If I pick apart every little thing I physically see wrong with myself, will it change? NO
If I don't like the situation I'm in, and complain and pout about it, will it somehow get better? NO

I needed to make a change, and I decided this new year was going to help find the new me.

First change, needed to be how I saw myself.
I needed to value myself more, be more accepting and loving for every flaw that made me, me.
And my hair was one of my biggest hurdles.

So, I educated myself. I looked up products for curly hair, things to use on my hair to reverse all the heat damage I had done after years and years of using my beloved flat iron.
I learned to be patient with it, it was all about trial and error. It was about finding the best products and routines that worked for me and MY hair.
Suddenly, I slowly began to notice more and more beautiful women, from every age, color and background embrace the curls they had and wore them proudly.

Big curls, tight curls, wavy curls, frizzy curls, unruly curls - it doesn't matter.

We are all uniquely made. Sure there are tons of makeup products out there to cover blemishes, enhance our features, tame our hair, make us feel confident.
BUT, that confidence should still exude naturally bare, fresh out the shower, our true us.

I've learned to love my hair, I haven't touched my straightener in 7 months and that feels amazing to say. My hair is the healthiest it's been in so long, and my curls are slowly getting their definition back.
Even when there's humidity in the hair, and those frizzy kinks start to come thru I just smile.
It's a part of me, and I've learned to love EVERY part of me... frizzy curls and all.
And finally, after many years finally learned the answer to that equation I pondered on for so long...

straight hair = beautiful
my 'curly' hair = just as beautiful <3






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